The Place of the Damned
by Jonathan Swift
Irish satirist and novelist. Best known for Gulliver's Travels (1726), two other important pieces are The Battle of Books (1697) and A Tale of Tub (1704). He wrote many political tracts and poems: in total his work includes around 150 separate prose writings, 280 poems and 750 known letters.
The Place of the Damned
by Jonathan Swift
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1731 All folks who pretend to religion and grace,
Allow there's a HELL, but dispute of the place:
But, if HELL may by logical rules be defined
The place of the damned -I'll tell you my mind.
Wherever the damned do chiefly abound,
Most certainly there is HELL to be found:
Damned poets, damned critics, damned blockheads, damned knaves,
Damned senators bribed, damned prostitute slaves;
Damned lawyers and judges, damned lords and damned squires;
Damned spies and informers, damned friends and damned liars;
Damned villains, corrupted in every station;
Damned time-serving priests all over the nation;
And into the bargain I'll readily give you
Damned ignorant prelates, and counsellors privy.
Then let us no longer by parsons be flammed,
For we know by these marks the place of the damned:
And HELL to be sure is at Paris or Rome.
How happy for us that it is not at home!
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